Being a teenager in a world that hates teenagers is so damn difficult. I'll tell you what's sad about it:

1. You're neither a child & nor are you an adult. When your relatives are over you can neither sit with them & drink & nor can you play with little nonsense babbling, drooling, wailing, idiotic toddlers. 

2. You're a stereotypical teenager for everybody. Sulky with mood swings. And your relatives are going "Oh it's all normal at this age." WTF is this age? & people who may be just a year or two older to you will be saying, "Oh, please don't have your usual teenage drama queen episode."

3. You are always, I mean ALWAYS asked about your studies & why you are not concentrating. There are always two responses to your mother's constant rambling about you not studying. 

a) "Arre, nahi, dimaag hai bachi mein, kar legi, jab tym hoga tab kar legi." ( Literal translation: Oh,no, she has brains, she will do it whne time comes. Figurative translation: My daughter's way brainier, poor woman needs sympathy.)

b)" No, beta, you should. Agar ab nahi karoge toh poori zindagi rona padega."(Literal translation: No, child you should. If you don't study now you'll have to cry your enter life. Figurative translation: I don't want her to be the first failure in the family!")

4. Not to mention, the uncontrollable mood swings. Where you're listening to 'Meet me on the equinox' and you're crying along to "everything ends" again & again. And body image issues, you might be placed on a special scale where everything is measured on how non-existent you are but you're still too fat.

5. Everything you do or say is considered a rebellion. You wear black, you're attractin evil. You're wearing something short, you're into boys. Who the hell gets dressed for men? I get dressed only for the girls, because they know how to appreciate good dressing.

6. Your sense of music will be bad at the first go. "My God, what the hell is this rubbish?!" your mother will scream. The next day, she's dancing to it & saying "What is this song? I love it! You should listen to this!"

Well this is all I can think of for now. In short, being a teen is a fucking difficult thing. & trust me this list hasn't even started.

(P.S. Quick Gun Murugun wasn't as good as I thought it would be. My mother baked a cake, it's delicious. My father fought with me over why I didn't share a chocolate with my brother. C'est La Vie.)

*sigh*

Death I

Either the smoke's making me want to write or I'm just internally frustrated. Let's talk about death baby. How would you like to die? Most of you wouldn't want to die but just in case you had a choice. For me an airplane death is out of the question, in fact any incident related to falling from a height is out of the question though I'd love to have those yellow bloating thingies around my neck, while I drift about on the sea watching the ocean claim the aircraft. I don't want anything to damage my face when I die. I mean, what if you take your dead form to heaven or hell. I don't want to have an eye missing when I walk up to the big guy. He won't even take me seriously!
What do you think happens after death? Do you float around in space, do you really walk on fluffy clouds, are you really sent to the incinerator below, do you come back on Earth as something else or do you just cease to exist? I prefer everything except the last two, the other options are more exciting.
Does Satan really have a sexy goatee? Does God really have a white,flowing beard or is he just a meek geek wearing specs who's too scared to enter his own science lab project & is just sitting up there like a coward.
Are there any polar opposites or is there just one guy creating both Good & Bad? Maybe Sod or Gatan. No one will ever know. But I promise, if they give me blogging facilities up there or down there or mid air, I will let you know.
Awaiting eagerly for Quick Gun Murugun. 300 is coming at the same time so I'm utterly confused. Do you watch a South Indian spoof or dishy Butler slaying effeminate men with nose ring to pieces. A close battle, but I'm going with QGM for now because I really need laughs right now.
EMAs are on now so I'm going to go & check them out.
See you when I see you, spirit bloggers
(P.S. I don't really think I've done much justice to the death blog so I will continue sometime)
Till then,
Big Bada Boom( Mila Jovovich in The Fifth Element style)

Ramble,ramble,ramble

As I know, I'm not being read. So, I'm just going to talk to myself. Being me was exhilarating today. Just ran away from home to sit around and soak up the sun as Sheryl says. The world can seem so much more beautiful when the sunlight is straining through your eyelashes & reflecting on your tears & showing you rainbows.
Today's Diwali, the festival of lights supposedly. All I can see from the bay windows is smoke. It's supposed to be peaceful but all I can hear is a miniature bombing of Delhi. I can't say I don't like all the twinkling lights. But wasting a couple of lakhs just to hear & watch the moolah burn.......... not my idea of a celebration. Plus, being the hippie that I am, I hate the pollution & what the noise does to animals. My deceased pet cat didn't seem really affected but that's because he was sleeping peacefully in his grave by 31st October.

 I just had a dream. I had cats called Sushi & Jinkies(yes, like Velma). I hope for a pet again but bringing one into this dysfunctional family of ours is nothing short of animal cruelty. I have a knack for naming pets.Squeaky the bat, Marmalade the orange tabby & Pharaoh, my first & last pet cat (for now), were all my creations. I even helped a friend name his sister-in-law's dog Google. I said Yahoo, he said Google & voila! That's what you call a brainstorming session. Animals are like therapy for me. It just feels good to think that something needs you to take care of it.They're my solace in a mad, mad world. Even though I'm a hardcore non-vegetarian, I can't stand animal cruelty. I care for animals more than human beings. I believe whipping a horse is a bigger sin than murdering a human. Love is all I need, & these creatures are the only ones who give it to me unconditionally. I hope to do something for them someday, when I have enough money. Build an animal shelter or something.
My hair's in a mess, it's got twigs & leaves in it. You have to reach for unfathomable places to keep diyas. My Dad's screaming at me because I dropped some oil & I had supposedly 'accused' him of it earlier. It's beautiful though, the diyas,  the darkness almost goes away, but not quite. That's what's great about Diwali. If you really think about it, the light's only temporary, the larger effect is that you're contributing to the darkness. Pollution & smoke are only going to contribute to a faster end of the world. So Indians doing the crackers this year or having done it earlier, thank you for the apocalypse. It's a little far-fetched but it's true. We are going to die of Global warming & you're just helping the dude up there have his way.
My brother's singing, as usual. And I'm trying to stick onto this laptop a little longer so that I don't have to 'bond' with the family. Now, this is sounding like a whiney diary entry by a hormone-attacked teenager. Maybe, it is!
C'est La Vie
(P.S. Saw Julie & Julia today. Marvellous piece of work. Thinking of trying my hand at cooking. Jack of all trades needs absolutely ALL trades under her belt.)

Kurt

Say hello to Kurt.
He's the gay guy in me. He's modeled after Kurt from Glee. He makes me fashion conscious. He started my affair with gladiators.
Yes, I'm out of creative juice. Kerala can be beautiful but can be really slow. It's very inspiring but my mind is just not working. I'm breaking out. I hate pimples, they're like a separate entity on your body. How the hell are you supposed to go to a party looking like the witch who gave Snow White the apple.
My friend who left for a college in Mumbai just visited. Oh, it was so great to finally see her. We used to be notorious in our colony for howling at night. No, i don't mean laughing-howling, i mean howling like wolves. She's the light in my dreary life. So she was telling me about her awesome life. Of course, being the pessimistic person she is, she still doesn't believe it's great. But I envy her. The only person on my boat just jumped off & made her way to Laguna beach.
Nothing else as such. I know nobody's actually reading this, so there's no real point of feeling guilty about not having anything to write. Do I Kurt? He says no. I trust him, he knows best. Do 'Mr Cellophane' for me again, will you Kurt?
Yeah, he gets a little tired sometimes.
Anyway, Ta-ra( that was Kurt)

My 5 minute love affair with life

From the previous blog you must have gotten an idea of what I think of life. It comes in the middle & it's a finger, go figure. But I must confess I did love life for a whole 5 minutes. Yes, I know, where is your integrity Kaavya? Why can't you stick up for something you believe in? But in my defense, life does that to you sometimes. It sneaks up behind you & goes "Zseeuuu" & you have to love it. The circumstances in which I fell in & out of love may not be as amazing & life altering as you think. I had just gotten out of my tuition & switched on my I-pod( which is now dead, may Miu rest in peace) & I started walking home. It was one of those days where you could feel the weather oozing into you, seeping through the pores in your skin. A light breeze ruffled my hair & the sky clouded up. Deep Market may not be the best place to have such revelations. There's muck & filth everywhere. Kids in tattered clothes standing outside the temple begging for a grain or two, dogs scratching & biting their ass, constant work-in-progress & people spitting & peeing so freely you'd think YOU were intruding their privacy & who can forget the lecherous men who stare at anything without a mustache or maybe with a mustache too, no, not a place for such events . But that day I chose to ignore all the perverts & dirt. That day I chose to look up at the sky while trance music flooded my ears & I felt like I was in a movie. My heart felt passionate for the first time. I wanted to scream & shout, but you can't do that nowadays without being judged so I told myself to calm down. I was smiling without any rhyme or reason & people were giving me strange looks, "Does she know something about me? Do I have my breakfast stuck in my teeth? Damn, I knew I should have brushed", that's what they were probably thinking.
And then as I walked & fell in a deep whirlwind romance with life, I reached home. & there it ended. I still miss you Life. Please come back. I'm still not over you. Take me back. Please, please, pretty please?
I still remember the high, I still remember everything of those 5 minutes, we could still be friends.

Helloooooo(echoes & fades)

The title is the most dramatic thing about this entry.
Life, what is life? No, that doesn't work. I'm a 17 year old kid & I have a very different perspective of life or whatever it is that's been torturing me the day I opened my teeny weeny eyes & started bawling. All of us are going to be doing just what we did when we were born. Cry & whine for no apparent reason. And we're going to sleep. Drift slowly into the magical, ethereal land of dream where your imagination runs wild. Sometimes I wonder if I've woken up yet. People like me also master the art of sleeping with their eyes open, I use this ultra- secret technique which i learned from my Master Kim Jung "Monkey in the shadows" Li in very dire situations like the English class. It takes years & years of practice to master. The basic way is to look like you're concentrating even if you're lost in your thoughts about the Butter Chicken you ate last night. Now, you have to make sure the word doesn't spread. Master isn't computer savvy yet.
I can write, somehow that's the only thing I'm average at. And since I'm not average at many things except making Maggi & planning ways to make kids cry, I thought the only viable career option would be to write. My world is fun if you have an imagination of a 2 year old. This is how my day would be for you, my little 2 year old fan with the amazing premature talent of reading. I get up, CRY(that would be you), I go to school, THE TEACHER GIVES ME A GOLD STAR (again, that would be you pitching in), I come back home, MOMMY MAKES ME CHOCOLATE CAKE(you again), I watch TV, PHINEAS & FERB(that would be me), I sleep, get up, CRY(stop it kid), do some homework, DADDY BRINGS CANDY FOR ME(no seriously,stop), watch TV, MICKEY MOUSE(GO AWAY KID, *gives you a cyber kick on the ass*). Now, my world for me would be everything except the events in block letters.
So here it is, Milky Way(I'm pretty sure the net doesn't spread farther), my world for you in a petri dish for your analysis & yes you can play with the microscope if you want to. HEY! Not so much, Hey! Don't put that red thing in! Gosh, this is a bad idea. But yeah, enjoy.